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How We Choose to Belong Makes a Difference: Belonging (Part 1)

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Desiring to build a more compassionate and cooperative society is a noble goal. Getting there starts with respect. However, respect as an abstract concept may be as empty as cocoon after the butterfly has emerged.

Active respect acknowledges and defends another person’s needs and dignity. We started talking about needs several weeks back. Following Abraham Maslow organization of need into five groupings or levels. Maslow uses a pyramid to display the different levels, with the lowest layers being foundational for those placed on top.

In prior weeks we have lifted up the basic biological needs of food, clothing, shelter, air, water, and rest. We then turned to safety. Recognizing a desire for safety drives the compulsion of many to arm themselves—the results quite often are the opposite. An increased number of guns in our homes, cars, and on our persons makes everyone less safe. However, the motivation is understandable. I’ll have more thoughts about these issues in the weeks ahead.

But for now, we turn to the third of the five levels in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need—Belonging. To belong involves developing social relationships. I want to think about relationships in three different categories: Given, Tribal, and Chosen. Continue reading “How We Choose to Belong Makes a Difference: Belonging (Part 1)”

Building a Better World Starts with Safety

fullsizeoutput_25Crafting a better world starts with satisfying human needs—not necessarily everything we want—but what we truly need. Abraham Maslow stated that after meeting the basic biological needs of food, clothing, shelter, air, water, and rest, we must turn our attention to safety.

Whether it is the cave dweller avoiding being eaten, children avoiding abusive parents, or women avoiding sexual assault—safety first becomes the issue. So how do we protect ourselves?

For some, the solution to safety is to “out arsenal’ everyone else. The theory is if we have the strongest military with the best weapons, then others will not attack us. So, if it works for nations, then it should work for individuals. (Of course, it doesn’t actually work for our nation—but let’s not allow facts to impact our delusion).

So, some people believe the solution to gun violence is more guns. I will admit, there are responsible gun owners. There are also a lot of irresponsible ones. When someone walks into a restaurant and sees a customer with a gun but not in a uniform, how do they determine which kind of gun owner he or she is?

When we are safe, we possess a feeling of well-being that allows us to focus on our personal needs or even the needs of others. Our sense of security is affected by the emotional climate around us. Our current climate is moving toward less safety for the young, old, female, poor, gay, immigrant, unhealthy, people of color and developmentally challenged to name only a few. On the other hand, racism, sexual abuse, and bullying seem to be more protected now than at any time in the last 50 years.

Can we produce a safer environment? Yes! We must. There are no simple answers but here are a few places to start.

We teach our children about “stranger danger;” adults must learn about “surrounding awareness.”

We must listen to our colleagues, neighbors, children, and teachers when they talk about hostile or unsafe environments.

We also need to make it clear that we will not be judging or blame the victim when they tell us of threat, abuse, or bullying.

Remember anyone being at risk, puts me at risk.

We must change the national conversation to focus on dignity and responsibility rather than rights and privileges.

The picture of the future portrayed in The Doorkeeper’s Secrets people wear “smart garments” that can only be removed by the owner, are bulletproof, fireproof, and puncture proof.

Those are a few of my ideas how do you think we can create a safer society? I would love to read your thoughts and comments. Next time we will talk about the need for Belonging (the third of Maslow’s five-level Hierarchy of Need).

What are our Basic Needs? (part 2)

fullsizeoutput_25So, what are our human needs and aspirations? If I can separate my true needs, from the multitude of things others ask me to believe are “needs,” then I can make decisions about how to spend my life. Abraham Maslow back in 1949 stated that we have five levels of need. The levels are like a pyramid each one must be at least partially satisfied before we can stack another on top.

The foundation is Basic Needs or Biological Needs. In addition to nutritious food, safe water, and breathable air, we humans have other less obvious physical requirements. Among them is protection from the elements.

Continue reading “What are our Basic Needs? (part 2)”

Remaking our World: Basic Needs (Part 1)

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If we decide to restructure our economy to provide everyone with what they need, before permitting anyone excesses, we will need a shared understanding of “Needs.” Fortunately, Abraham Maslow provides us with a starting place with his Hierarchy of Needs.

Five levels of need organized into a pyramid. The first being the foundational layer of the pyramid: Basic Needs. Red in the chart above.

These are the needs required to exist as a human organism on this planet. Air to breathe, water for drink and bathing, and food to eat. Those are obvious. However, we have found it necessary to pass laws to create standards for clean air, clean water, and safe food.  Continue reading “Remaking our World: Basic Needs (Part 1)”

Providing for Needs

IMG_20180420_115253148If we want to prevent future conflicts over scarce resources, we should begin now to ensure that everyone has what he or she needs—not necessarily everything they want, but what is needed. That’s not a new idea. It’s as old as sacred texts in every faith tradition of the world. Treat others the way we would want to be treated.

 

That’s all well and good, but one person’s need may be another’s extravagance. What is today’s “luxury” may be “essential” tomorrow—consider cell phones as a recent example. Fortunately, the definition of need is not merely subjective, subject to the whims of the speaker. Continue reading “Providing for Needs”

Equality

What if equality meant everyone gets what they need?

IMG_20171025_120811584_HDROne of the concepts undergirding the United States is “All people are created equal.” My grandfather used to add, “… but some are more equal than others.” His way of pointing out that equality does not mean sameness.

We do not have equal resources. There are differences in financial, intellectual, environmental, or safety resources. Those who are poor, women, minority, old, children, non-heterosexual, or a non-conformist in any way have additional burdens heaped on them—nothing equal or respectful about such practices.

When I was in college, we were told the equality is about being “equal before the law.” Anyone who still believes that hasn’t seen a newspaper, tv news, legal drama, or Facebook recently.

So, if we are to searching for some degree of equality—where would our search begin?

As I created a future version of our world based on increased respect and well-being, I consider an “equitable treatment of all” to be a stabilizing principle. Many of the arguments we observe come from a perception that someone else has an unfair advantage. The advantage often comes from a position of power—especially when abuse is possible. Anything from the landlord precipitously raising rents, or pharmaceutical manufactures quadrupling the price of an essential medication, to the bully on the playground picking on the more vulnerable ones.

So, how do we change to create a future where egalitarian principles are the norm?

First, we need to remember: we are all in this together. We have one planet to share. A volcanic eruption in Iceland can impact the air flights over much of the world. Weather changes in South America impact the coffee drinkers everywhere. And the resentment, or anger of one individual with a gun effects the lives of hundreds, thousands, even the whole world. At the same time, when a soccer team is rescued from a cave in Thailand, the entire world rejoices.

We also need to recognize that each of us has something positive to contribute to the common good. Therefore, we must depend on each other. There are many jobs I cannot do because I possess neither the skill nor the equipment to accomplish them. Whether it’s a surgeon saving a life, or a computer tech fixing a problem—they are providing services I cannot. Similarly, tasks are done by others that I lack the time or will to do. Picking the food we eat, building highways, running restaurants, and keeping the utilities on to name only a few.

So, if I’m unwilling or unable to provide a service I need, then I must depend on someone else. So, shouldn’t I be willing to pay the person adequately for their work? Faith challenges us to not think more highly of one’s self, than others. In other words, we should consider the other’s contribution just as significant as our own.

Finally, compensation should provide essentials for everyone. Those include quality food, an appropriate, safe place to live, education for a fulfilling job, healthcare, and transportation when needed. This should be everyone’s minimum compensation. A migrant worker, CEO of a corporation, plumber, typist, teacher, domestic worker, or President of a University all deserve the same essentials.

 

In The Doorkeeper’s Secrets, my version of the future equality is created by giving everyone the opportunity to live productive, secure lives. In my “future” everyone is compensated at an adequate level to provide all those essentials. If one finds the need for a different job, retraining is available. A collaborative social order creates opportunities for satisfying work. We depend upon one another and respect each other. When this becomes the case, there is no place for abuse, prejudice, greed, or arrogance.

If you would like to know more about this future, I invite you to read The Doorkeeper’s Secrets and comment on the possibility of such a future. The second book in the Sheltered Cities Series is expected out in September. More about The Doorkeeper’s Mind soon.

The next several blogs will reflect on an approach for understanding and addressing human needs. You’re invited to join in the discussion.

 

Future Parents

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Parenting has been called the most critical job anyone ever undertakes. Yet, for most of us, we have no instruction and few ways to tell if we are competent. Many of the personality scars that lead to anti-social behavior, violence, dishonesty, bullying, prejudice, and poor adaptability can be traced (at least in part) to inadequate parental supervision or support.

So how do we change this picture? In The Doorkeeper’s Secrets, the responsibility of child-raising is identified as a job. Like any other job, people are educated, qualified, supported, and evaluated regularly.

Continue reading “Future Parents”