Relationships We Choose (Belonging Part 3)

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Effective relationships are one of the five things Maslow says we humans need. This includes connections we are born into (family and relatives) and those developed through careers, schools, age groups, or “tribes.” Finally, we turn our attention to another type of connection often called love or romantic relationships.

I am referring to the connections that can lead to marriage, mating or significant other. These may begin as an attraction which leading to interest then possibly infatuation, passion, and intimacy. Of course, such developments are often driven by hormones, pheromones, and instinct but if they are to last must also include respect, companionship, and commitment.

Continue reading “Relationships We Choose (Belonging Part 3)”

How We Choose to Belong Makes a Difference: Belonging (Part 1)

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Desiring to build a more compassionate and cooperative society is a noble goal. Getting there starts with respect. However, respect as an abstract concept may be as empty as cocoon after the butterfly has emerged.

Active respect acknowledges and defends another person’s needs and dignity. We started talking about needs several weeks back. Following Abraham Maslow organization of need into five groupings or levels. Maslow uses a pyramid to display the different levels, with the lowest layers being foundational for those placed on top.

In prior weeks we have lifted up the basic biological needs of food, clothing, shelter, air, water, and rest. We then turned to safety. Recognizing a desire for safety drives the compulsion of many to arm themselves—the results quite often are the opposite. An increased number of guns in our homes, cars, and on our persons makes everyone less safe. However, the motivation is understandable. I’ll have more thoughts about these issues in the weeks ahead.

But for now, we turn to the third of the five levels in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need—Belonging. To belong involves developing social relationships. I want to think about relationships in three different categories: Given, Tribal, and Chosen. Continue reading “How We Choose to Belong Makes a Difference: Belonging (Part 1)”