Leadership – Page 2 – E. L. Morrow

Thanksgiving–Not Just a Day

Thanksgiving is not just a day but a season. It is no accident that the Christian season of Advent begins shortly after the US’s national day thanks. The whole season from harvest (preparation for lean times); to the diminishing of light (shorter days); to the anticipation of a new future (increasing light, warmth, another planting, and harvest); and the cycle repeats.

I use Christian language because that is my faith stream, but I’m aware of similar celebrations in other faith traditions. It is time to be grateful. We remember the creative, life-giving spirit that sustains us and all other life on earth.

As individuals, the Thanksgiving season calls us to remember those who have supported, encourage, challenged and assisted us: parents, teachers, coaches, counselors, spiritual leaders, our heroines, or heroes. None of us would have become the people we are today without a lot of help. That is true if we think we are “sitting on top of the world,” or are depressed and despondent.

Those of us who think we are primarily responsible for our success, must stop and remember the people who believed in us, called out our better efforts, and supported our endeavors (financially as well as emotionally). Likewise, when we see someone who does not “measure up” to our standards (no matter how broad or narrow those standards may be), then we must remember they too had “help” being pushed down to the place where we encounter them. In fact, where we observe them now, maybe a significant advancement over how they were a few months or years ago.

At the very least, we are called to give thanks that we could have easily found ourselves in a similar situation without the support we received.

Even if we claim to overcome “great odds,” or that the “deck was stacked against us” we had help along the way.

The story goes that a new patient went to see a psychiatrist. While explaining his reasons for coming he haughtily proclaimed his many achievements in business, personal wealth building, and his fame. To punctuate his successes he said, “… and I’m sure you’ll appreciate what I had to go through when you discover I was raised in an extremely dysfunctional family.” The patient waited for a response. The therapist looked up from his notepad replying, “There is no other kind.”

At every holiday, there are those who do not get the holiday because of their work. Keeping us safe (military, police or firefighter) maintain health (nurses, doctors, or other medical personnel) or care for us in other ways (those who keep the transportation system working, the power on, and countless other responsibilities). Thanksgiving is a time to remember them with appreciation.

Expressing gratitude is one of the signs of a healthy relationship: lovers, parents, children, communities, schools, hospitals, business associates, customers, as well as state, national and international leaders. But the appreciation needs to be real. We don’t say thanks to the state legislators who passed a tax bill giving the wealthy and small businesses breaks while putting the burden on the poor and those who attempt to assist them.

In the future envisioned by The Doorkeeper’s Secrets and other books in the Shelter Cities Series expressing appreciation is encouraged. Not only in person but also through anonymous commendations. The compliments are collected electronically and shared with each person during their annual visit with his or her counselor.

Of course, that is all in the future. But what about now? We often hear that our society is divided and becoming more so. What if we could find a way to celebrate and lift up those behaviors that are supportive and build up the common good.

From time to time the “Opinion Line” in the local newspaper prints a note of appreciation for “the stranger who found and returned my (wallet, driver’s license, cell phone, etc.) or paid for our meal ….” Appreciation is a good thing.

Maybe I disagree with much of what a person says or does, but observe an act of kindness, gentleness, or standing up for someone unable to do so without help.

What do you think readers? Would our lives be richer if we started looking for acts of compassion and respect rather than focusing on the dysfunctional all around us? If that occurred even in a small way, would that begin to create a greater sense of unity?

If we can begin to see good in others, and our culture perhaps we can address the conflict, anger, fear, and differences all around us. We must address our problems from a perspective of strength and stability—supporting one another may be where we start.

To Plan or Not to Plan?

Wisdom from many writers says – “Write what you know.” Well, I know a few things for sure. Not many, but three maybe four things I know. One of them is: To Plan is Better than Not Planning.

A friend has a wall plaque which reads, “No Amount of Planning Will Ever Replace Dumb Luck.”

It is true that sheer circumstance may produce unexpected results. Some people seem to live by the mantra of “Luck will see me through.” The problem about depending on luck – is that it’s just as likely to be negative as positive.

Those of us who want some control over our lives – Plan. Another message on a wall: “If you have no Destination Then any Road Will Do. The Problem is – you Won’t Know When You’ve Arrived.”

Planning begins with a “Destination” in mind. A goal is essential to any plan. What is it you want to accomplish? What skill do you want to learn? What place do you wish to visit?

Anything from a secure retirement, or a beautiful garden, to a family gathering at Thanksgiving works better with a plan.

Planning involves steps. The Thanksgiving dinner purchase and preparation of food (keeping in mind who is allergic to what) arrange a space (including keeping the belligerent family members apart) making invitations and dozens of other details. The dinner doesn’t just happen because it’s the 4th Thursday in November, and everyone’s going to Aunt Joann’s.

One of the great things about plans is that they can be changed. If you have a procedure, you can modify it when an emergency intrudes, or the situation changes or new information presents itself. But without a plan, you may be blown about by the winds of change, and end up somewhere you did not intend.

Plans are not chipped into stone. They need to be living, growing and adapting. There must be an evaluation to see if goals are being reached, and sometimes the findings lead us to replace all or part of the plan.

Planning helps us anticipate the obstacles we may encounter along our journey. If a surprise pops up – well at least we have experience making adjustments.

The Doorkeeper’s Secrets has a social and economic foundation: “The Plan for the Future.” Developed decades before our story begins, it outlines policies supportive of an interdependent society, with true “Liberty and justice for all.” It’s the elements of compassion, integrity, respect, and dignity mandated by “The Plan” that is under attack. Our protagonist finds herself in the middle of a controversy with more power than she wants.

One more “wisdom slogan” about planning: “Life is what happens while we’re planning something else.” The real key to happiness may be our ability to unite our plans along with all the surprises that come our way.

Collaboration and Interdependence

If the human race is to have a future, we must learn to be respectful and honor the dignity of each person’s contribution. In other words, we must listen to one another and learn from each other as we seek the common good; collaborate and become dependable.

Today, if someone is called a “collaborator,” it’s often an accusation. Suspicion of collaborating with the enemy of one’s nation, company, family, political party, or religion may be grounds for dismissal from work, friendship, or society.

However, most collaborations are positive: Rogers and Hammerstein, Lewis and Clark, or Ben and Jerry’s are only a few. When parents agree on discipline principles for a child; when educators agree on the essentials for a course of study; or when communities develop infrastructure plans we see this skill at work. To collaborate is simply working with someone else on a project. It’s the essence of teamwork. No baseball team can win without each player contributing their skills at the right time—both at bat and in the field. When a batter hits against a pitcher, she or he knows there are eight other players on the field ready to take charge and make the best of the situation.

Teamwork is similar to interdependence. To be in an interdependent relationship with colleagues, spouse, or friends means each person contributes their best to the situation. Interdependence happens only when those involved are dependable. Everyone must carry their weight, because all others are doing the same.

So why are we talking about this? Well, my picture, in The Doorkeeper’s Secrets is based on a cultural shift. The change required includes moving our economy and social structures away from greed and competition toward collaborative and interdependent leadership and relationships.

When I learned about leadership from a collaborative stance, it quickly became the only kind I wish to offer. Interdependence means it is not all up to you – whether you are at the top of the organizational chart, or think of yourself as a “flunky.” It’s a gift to know all the ideas and wisdom (in or out of the organization) is available for the asking.

We can begin taking steps in a cooperative-supportive direction. Some are small like looking for “Fair Trade” and “Ethically Sourced” marks on foods we purchase. Recycle and buy products that are at least partially made of recycled materials. Other actions include supporting cooperative ventures; seeking sustainable everything (especially energy) and asking our politicians what they plan to do to ensure a habitable planet for the fifth generation.

The future of planet earth is bright because we can work together to address issues. We have wisdom, intellect, and technical capabilities sufficient to address and solve many of our problems. In my picture of the future – we do. The real question is: will we?